Do you have any experiences with the Humility chapter to share? What action steps have you tried? What stories do you have about the need for humility in your life? What encouragement can you offer to other readers on the humility portion of their journey?
CLICK ON COMMENTS to share your thoughts.
CLICK ON THE TITLE "HUMILITY" TO SEE EVERYONE'S COMMENTS.
Katie Brazelton & Shelley Leith
C0-Authors
52 comments:
I've never thought of low self esteem as a humility issue. Logically I know I am completely accepted by God. I've just been too afraid to do things that I am capable of doing. And when do them it's often with only partial effort or in a last minute rush. From my own life experiences I learned not to expect much from myself I guess. I keep having to repeat a saying I heard a few years ago, I just wish my whole being would realize it and snap out of what I'm doing in my life. The saying goes something like this: Your parents were responsible for what happened to you then, you're responsible for what happens in your life now (with God in the lead of course).
Day 3 was a challenge for me. I have not had any bad experience in my life. I have not lost my job/family. I have not been to prison. That is not to say that my life has been perfect...I do see that God has used the small stuff to bring show His glory. Although I find it hard to give him the glory, when sometimes I can steal it. This is where I REALLY need to look to Him. With the small stuff,or what I think is small. I am realizing I need to trust Him with EVERYTHING! Pray for me!
I loved how the authors said on p. 26 that humility is self-confidence! I can't tell you how many times the enemy has tried to convince me that self-confidence was pride. And now that I've also read the "confidence" chapter, p. 61 tells me that it's not really self-confidence but God-confidence that is true humilty!
I'm SO glad I picked up this book! I've struggled with major self-image, low self-esteem issues, which led to depression and an eating disorder. I'm in recovery and still struggle with it here and there. But this book is definitely a major tool in my recovery! It gave me practical ways to remind myself that I have self worth and that God really loves me. The action plans (i.e. God hunt & not tearing myself down) helped me throughout the day to feel peace and security. Definitely will continue this book til the end.
Humility. On Sunday, my son choked on a piece of hard candy that I gave him. Of course, this happened in the middle of the service. He's okay, but there was no way I could deny that I gave him the candy that he choked on, even thought I know better. I was surrounded by my loving church family, and I am very thankful that they were there, but it isn't easy to make such a simple mistake in such a public place. I always thought people who were prideful were the ones who ran around bragging about how great they are. Wow, I was so wrong. As I strive for perfection, because we should always try to be the best we can be, I don't give myself any room for error, and as a result I have missed out on some great moments to laugh at myself. Thanks for writing such a powerful book, even if God is using it to put me through some pretty humiliating things.
This book has opened my eyes to some bondage that I have been tolerating. I am 41 and had a 2nd baby a year ago 21 years after my first one! My body is not what it once was, and I have been having a an emotional meltdown because of it. This book showed me that I was often putting my confidence in my looks and not in God. I confessed this yuck to my small group and now I am moving forward to what God has for me! I praise God that His promise rang true: You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
This Character Makeover is deliscious. I am slowly chewing over every bite and I am savouring each daily portion. What a feast!
What a challenge.
In the past week I had a humility bump! let me explain: for fifty years I have enjoyed riding my bicycle and have never had an accident (is pride creeping in?). Then the other day I was breezing along a back country road when suddenly I hit dirt. And cement!
Now I have a black eye and look very much like a battered woman. If you knew my gentle giant of a husband you would know that would not happen; but what is difficult is that I believe the Holy Spirit does not want me to tell anyone I meet what actually happened on the bicycle, unless I am asked. At the moment you would not believe the places I have to go and the people I need to see...and not a word of explanation from me. Instead, I hear the Holy Spirit challenging me to pray for the battered women who daily go un-noticed and praising God for the good medical care I have received. Father God did not cause this crash, but He is using it to stregthen my character....hmmm, on to Confidence!
Blessings and thank you for this book which is a "word in due season!", Kathy Smith, An American living in England
About 18 yrs ago, I was fed up with the rat race I was in. From the outside, it appeared to everyone that I had it all together and really living a life of luxury. I lived in a beautiful home in a very nice neighborhood, had a great paying job along with many benefits for a very prestigious doctor. I cannot tell you how blessed my family truely was. There was one thing missing and it was my relationship with God was so shallow and weak. All of a sudden, things began to unravel. Not only was I miserable at my job and just wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother, my husband's business began to fall apart. Just about the time I quit my well paying job, his business crumbled and we were left with nothing. We had sold or lost everything to get out of debt. But as I began to seek God with every ounce of my being, I wanted God more than I wanted things. I have been on this trek for all this time learning these characteristics. I wish I could say that I had arrived. LOL I am starting afresh in this book that I'm enjoying so much. I tell you that it still scares me for some reason. When I saw the first chapter on humility, a lump came in my throat and a knot in my stomach. I know that God is truely faithful and He is constantly teaching me knew things about Him. My only hope is that others will see Jesus as I continue to reach out to Him and to them. Thanks for putting into words all the things I've been learning for years.
I never realized that me working my buns off and half killing myself to please people was a form of pride. I really need to work on that one for sure! There's always a new area of pride hindering me from humility. Is this a test you ever pass or a battle you ever win? I know that God's grace is sufficient for me, it always has been. He hasn't killed me yet, thank God.
I can attest to the fact that God is a master at using our negative experiences to minister to others.
Ten years ago, my husband and I went through a bankruptcy. It was one of the most shameful experiences we have ever endured. I will tell you what, though, it scrubbed us clean from spiritual arrogance, pride, and any other self-delusions we held about how great and together we were!
Within the church, bankruptcy can be a shameful secret. We found that the more open we are with it, the more God brings us people (Christians) in similar situations. We are able to show them that God stays with us on the bumpy roads and in the deep black holes of our lives just as he helps us climb back out and celebrate our victories.
While I would prefer NOT to have experienced a bankruptcy, I know that it His best tool in our lives.
I am so glad for this book! It has come at a time when I am in desperate need of a new pattern for a new path in my life. I began with humility because the authors pointed out in the intro that without this all the others don't work well. I thought of myself as a humble person before reading this chapter...which may have been an indication that I had some pride? I struggle mostly with the undervaluing myself much like Amy. I now realize that this stems from a wrong understanding of who God is and who I am. Thank you ladies for your ministry to me through this book.
Blessings
Your sister in Christ
I just finished the first week and it is already impacting my life and my thoughts. My biggest problem is with motives. Because of my past, I too often let fear or others expectations of what I "should" do be the motivation for my actions. In fact it happened this week. But God opened my eyes to this. I recognize that this is a form of pride. I care about what others think or about myself more than what God wants. I am going to put a card with MOTIVES? on my desk at work to remind me to be on guard.
I also am learning to be a receiver, not a taker. There is a big difference. A taker drains people; a receiver allows people to give of their own free will.
I am excited about seeing what the rest of this book reveals in my life!
I loved reading everyone's comments! It's so nice to read your stories and know there are women who relate to me. I've seen a little bit of myself in every one of you! I too never thought of low self-esteem as a humility issue; just the opposite perhaps. This lesson has helped me to re-evaluate evry word that comes out of my mouth. Talk about convicting!
I had been struggling the past month or so and this first chapter on humility really spoke to me about how my pride was the reason for part of my problems. I was able to forgive some people and let go of bitterness and I felt more like myself than I had in a long time. I am enjoying my journey through this book.
I'm loving this book! Picked it up on a whim at Barnes and Noble after a super trying last 3 years (adopted a baby, moved, started a church plant, mother diagnosed with cancer (in the state we had moved from), traveled non-stop as mom's cancer returned a 3rd time and became one of her care giver's and my toddler was with me as my husband kept things going 10 hours away! (And mom moved to heaven in Oct)
I feel like the last three years have been the longest roller coaster ride without a break! The God I knew and loved became a stranger - and the worst part is standing before a congregation every Sunday and feeling fake. However, I work really hard at being real with them and sharing those ups and downs as that's part of our goal with this group of believers - to be real. I sought out a counselor about 4 months ago and have been challenged in the area of self-esteem. As I did day 5 on humility it really caught my attention - this thing of "false humility" and I see the need to really, honestly, let go of the past hurt and trust God. He IS faithful and I am ever so humbled and grateful for it!
It's time to listen, trust and obey. My son hears me say, "Listen and obey," often, now it's time for me to not be a hypocrite and do the same with God, my Father.
Today, I just began the 40 day character makeover and this is the first time I've ever "blogged" so please be patient with me. I just loved the 1st day about humility. When I was a teen I used to call myself "humblelina" in jest. My mom said when you think you've got humility that's when you've lost it. Good point. Anyway, Katie said be careful what you pray for... because God will give you the opportunity to practice that virtue. So I'm am going to pray for more of this wonderful virtue and trust that God knows my heart. What an exciting adventure... I'm so grateful to be a part of all of this.
I realized through the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of this book that I have been a liar. I have not only been lying to myself, but I've been lying to others and it's all been tied up in my pride, lack of humility, and failure to see myself in comparison to God. I have become judgmental, self-righteous, and critical all beneath the mask of false humility. I now see that I have used FAKE HUMILITY to set the stage to let people know about my perceived accomplishments. The scary thing is that I really believed that I was being humble! Satan was able to obscure my thinking in such a way that I believed my own lies. How did I so dangerously lose my way? Now I know. The Bible says that faith comes by hearing the Word and I had not been reading scripture or praying much at all. Now that I am reading God's Word and using this book to see myself as I really am, I feel like there is hope for me. One of the hardest things for me do (and do honestly) is to, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." Philippians 2:3
Praise the Lord that we can go to Him for a spiritual makeover. There are doctors that can help to repair our minds and bodies, but none that can repair the soul.I am so grateful for our Redeemer, Jesus Christ, who can heal our innermost spirit and return us to a right way of thinking and living.
Day 1
Humility Day 1 - Seeing God
As you are all aware, today is day one of my 40 day walk. Last night before going to bed, I took a moment to read the introduction and it starts with this wonderful quote:
Spiritual transformation is essential, not optional for Christ-followers. Spiritual transformation is a process, not an event. Spiritual transformation is God's work, but requires my participation.
* John Ortberg
As some of you know, I really like books that help you to look deeper into yourself and give you little "exercises" to do. I guess it's the nerd in me who liked homework.
After reading of the authors credentials, she talked of helping to discover one's life purpose.
She talked of self-sabotage, defeat, insecurity, self-centeredness and reminded me that drifters never reach their goal.
She talked of strongholds and character and how we would be diving into our relationship with God, ourselves, others, things and to the future. So far, I'm on board.
The book is written as if we are sitting face to face having a conversation. She tells me all about how to get the most out of the book and the importance of preparation, prayer, and practice.
She also tells me that the three ways to deepen the experience is, a character journal, I'll be using my blog, how to divide up the days, and an accountability partner, which will be all of you who read this!
So far so good right? Well I continue reading along, looking forward to my 40 day journey when suddenly my heart skips a beat when the author asked: Are you really sure you want to do this? Is this a warning perhaps? No matter, I made the commitment and I am going for it!
I got up this morning and read Humility Day 1 - Seeing God.
There are a few key points that were made about humility that I would like to share with you.
*Humble people are likeable.
*Truly humble people compare themselves not with other people but with Christ, they realize their sinfulness and their limitations.
*Many people assume that humility is discovering your inner doormat, but in fact can coexist with self worth, esteem and personal value.
*Humility is knowing who you are and who you are not.
Then came the journal assignment. We took Psalm 103 and divided it into sections. In each section we were asked:
Who is God?
Who am I in relation to Him?
How can this understanding help me to become humble?
Wow! It's day one, and I am having a hard time already. As I break down the Psalm, I see that God is a healer, redeemer, forgiver, merciful, gracious, everlasting, kind, righteous, just, slow to anger, and He rules it all. All this is just a small glimpse into who God is.
As I looked deeply into this Psalm I realize just how small I am.
If you are sick, I can do many things to try to make you better, but I cannot heal you. I can redeem you of nothing. God gave free will, so grace, mercy and forgiveness are optional to me. I only forgive if I want to, unlike God who does it because you ask. The same goes with mercy and grace, I only exhibit them when I want to, not all the time as God does. My body will not live forever, my time on earth is as a blink of an eye, while God has always been and always will be. We will not even touch being slow to anger…and to be honest, I rule nothing!
I spent the entire day thinking about humility, and to be truthful, up until today I probably would have told you I was a pretty humble person. That would have been a lie!
The verses I read this morning ran over and over in my mind. I took time to really think about my thoughts and actions today and how I behave in my environment and relate to those around me. I wanted to be sure I saw things the way they really are.
I have got to tell you…I thought this would be easy to do, but it wasn't. My ego got in the way…A LOT!
Once I really took the time to do that, God took the time to show me just how little I control and just how small I am on this big planet.
Now, you would think that realization would bring one down, wouldn't you? In fact, it was quite the opposite.
Liberation starts with knowing how you are and who you are not.
Nellie ;~)
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http://nelliescoffeeshop.wordpress.com
Day 2
Humility Day 2. Pride Exposing Your Inner Buzz Lightyear
I have a sneaking suspicion that this book is not going to get any easier as time goes on. I wonder if the author has ever heard of the expression "quick like a band-aid?"
Since today is Tuesday, I got the opportunity to listen to today's lesson on the internet, as I will every Tuesday. While on the site I was able to find additional tools to help me along as well.
The author began the chapter with the story of Buzz Lightyear from the movie The Toy Story. For those of you who have not seen it (and to refresh the memory of those who have) Buzz was a space toy. He was consumed with himself and his importance, his mission, his powers and his weapons, so much so, he lost sight of the fact that he was just a toy who ran on batteries and depended on children to make his moves.
Buzz had to learn the hard way who he really was and what he was actually capable of doing.
If you stop and think about it we all have a bit of Buzz in us, some more then others I suppose.
We went over the various forms of pride, some of which to be honest, I never looked at as pride before…until today.
We have your general run of the mill old fashion pride: being all about me. This includes showing off, serving to be noticed, feeling of entitlement, and always wanting the star treatment.
Then we have the sad pride: Oh woe is me, sniff, sniff. This includes overworking, not accepting help, protectionism and putting yourself down in hopes someone will tell you how wonderful you are.
Then we also have everyone's favorite pride: the holier then thou variety, which I think is pretty self explanatory.
Lastly, we have the "You're not the boss of me and you can't make me" pride. This is all about not listening to others and what they have to say.
Now the author gets into a lot more detail about the various forms of pride then I will get into here, but you have the general idea. However, if you approach this chapter with an open heart and mind as I did, it got brutal! I've seen Vietnam movies with less action!
After reading about the various forms of pride, I took a test. You answered several questions with one of the following four answers, never, rarely, sometimes and frequently. Each answer is assigned a point value. At the end of the test you totaled up your points and found yourself on a scale of 1 to 128. 1 being you are so humble, one cannot help but to wonder if you have a pulse and 128 being seek therapy and do it quickly before it is too late.
Want to guess my score? Oh come on, it won't hurt…anymore then taking the test did.
103. Let me spell that out for you…one hundred and three!!! I fell into the hmmm you have some work to do category!!!
I am not complaining, but until I sat down and decided lets get real, I never knew I was that bad. The bright side is it could be worse. I could have got 128!
After doing today's lesson I went off about my day, trying to be mindful of my every thought and action. I will admit it is a bit of a pain, however it has really helped me to catch how much I actually do without thinking. Being quick witted is a blessing and a curse. I am always the one with the quick comeback and 9 times out of 10, I said it before I even knew I thought it. The down side? Much of what I say or do is done without thinking.
I am going to be honest here. It is only day 2 and it has been challenging and a little exhausting. Soul searching is never easy. If it were, I guess more people would do it.
I am thankful for this opportunity. In 2 days I have learned a lot about myself and they way I think and areas of my life I need to work on.
I thank God that he guided me to this book. I am grateful that through Him, all things are possible and I do not have to stay the way I am if I don't want to. I am grateful for free will and the ability to choose change.
I would like to note before closing that there are no activities on Saturday and Sunday. I have chosen to set aside time for prayer and meditation on my week. Saturday and Sundays journal will be about those times. 2 days down and 38 to go!!!
Talk to you tomorrow!
Nellie;~)
http://nelliescoffeeshop.wordpress.com
Day 3
Day 3 - How God Redeems Brokenness
Good evening dear readers. Today is day three. Although I am enjoying my time, I will admit that today, I am in a rough place. I am kind of agitated and in a little bit ill. At first I was really unsure why, but I think that it may have something to do with the fact that being honest and getting real shows you the good within you and well as the bad, and as we all know, no one likes to face the bad.
Getting real has its benefits though. I was last night I slept better then I have in my entire life! You know the kind of sleep that makes you feel like you just came out of a coma! The kind of sleep where you don't move, you don't dream, you're not too hot and not too cold. It's just pure, comfortable, blissful, sleep!
Anyway, on with the lesson! Today was about how humility is the essential ingredient in the Christian life. We also went over the eight core practices in the Christian life that are powerless without humility:
Worship
Self-Esteem
Honesty
Obedience
Teachability
Servanthood
Waiting
Brokenness
Once again I was shown how I have not always and sometimes still do not put myself in the proper perspective when it comes to Christian living. I will give a brief example of each one.
Worship: I worship God. I love to do so. I enjoy it. However during that time, I don't always put myself in my place and God in his. I realized that sometimes I put us on the same level.
Self Esteem: For me that is like a rollercoaster at Six Flags. Up, down and round and round.
Honesty: Now that I have to admit, I am an honest person with just about everyone. Not always with God. How ironic that the one being that already knows I am not so honest, but to a stranger I am an open book!
Obedience: To be honest…depends on my mood.
Teachability: I have always been a decent student and I love to learn…there is hope for me yet!
Servanthood: I love to serve. I am always doing things at church and I love it. However sometimes I question…is it for me or is it for Him?
Waiting: Patience is not my strong suite.
Brokenness: I know this one all too well. Problem is I allow myself to forget that sometimes.
I am thankful that I am learning this in the early years of my spiritual walk, rather then the later part. (I have only been a Christian less then two years) Although this is hard, it can only make my walk with Christ stronger and on a firmer foundation from the beginning.
More tomorrow!!!
http://nelliescoffeeshop.wordpress.com
Day 4
My dear readers. Please forgive that it has taken me so long to post day four! Yesterday was a busy day.
Before I begin day four, I wanted to take mention of something I forgot to tell you on day three. On day three, I was able to log online and take a test for on how well I've woven
humility into core Christian practices. The results should be emailed to me shortly. Maybe the author will see my results and give me free therapy. ;~)
Day four's focus was on how God conscious are you. On day three I would have said, very conscious. By the end of day four however, not so much!
Day four was a short day as far as exercise goes. We analyzed Philippians 2:3-8 and used it as a check mark how well I am doing in the decreasing self.
I was to imagine that all my actions were put on a scale for the past week and to see how it measured up.
The scale was as follows:
Honor for myself Honor for others
In what ways can I give more honor to others?
My stories Stories of others
What can I do to shift the balance and draw out more from others about themselves?
Benefit for Myself Benefit for others
How can you use your skills, abilities or talents to bless others more often?
My rights Serving others
In what situations can you let go of your rights and serve instead?
Excusing when it hurt Obeying when it hurt
In what situation do you need to let go of your fears and obey?
The last question???? It's my favorite. What encouraging thing did you notice about yourself in this exercise?
If you have been following along, you know that I have had a hard time this week. It is not easy realizing you are not what you thought you were! So at first I was very discouraged about this last question. However, as I began to really think about it discouragement faded.
You see as a general whole (the span of my life thus far) I would say that I tipped more to the left of the scale. However, by making the conscious effort to stop and think about all actions and motives, I was gradually started to tip the scale to the right!
I will post about day five (today) some time tomorrow!
Nellie ;~)
Day 5
Day 5 - Steps to Humility
Good day readers. I pray this finds you all happy and healthy. As for me, I am moving along and learning much about myself and more importantly, God.
I got the results of my online humility test…I did not think that at this juncture of my spiritual walk, I would not score very high and I was right!
Day 5 was about taking some action steps. We were given many options on some suggested actions to take over the next week. I scanned through the list and these are my choices and how I am going to do them.
First, I made a card with all my choices that I will carry with me as a reminder of my actions, which are:
I will study God. I am going to take time out this weekend to spend time alone with him and study some scripture that was mentioned in my assessment test, in this section of the book, and on the site.
I will hunt for God. I will keep my eyes open and look for all places I see God working in my life and when I see it write it down. I will try to incorporate it in my daily post.
I will stop trying so hard to be perfect….not sure exactly how I am going to do this one yet. I am going to try to approach all that I can do with the attitude of "I will do my best" and not "it must be perfect"
I will not boast - self explanatory but easier said then done.
I will check my motives. In all that I do I will check if I am doing it for me, God, or others.
I will be an encourager. Each day I will make a conscious effort to encourage someone else.
I will be a helper. At least once this week, I will help someone unselfishly without any gain.
This has been a difficult and challenging yet exciting week. I am thankful to God for bringing me to this book. It has not only revealed many truths about me, but about Him as well.
God uses many things to get our attention, I am grateful He has gotten mine!
Nellie ;~)
Day 6
Day 6
Last night I took the time to research the various names of God as the author suggested. I actually went a step further and looked up names that she had not mentioned. Here is what I discovered.
The truth of God's character is focused in his name. Here are the ones I found.
El - A broader more generic term for God.
El Shadai - God of the mountains or the almighty God.
El Elyon - The most high God or the exalted one.
El Olam - Go of eternity of God the everlasting one.
El Berith - God of the Covenant
El Roi - God who see's me or God of Vision
Elhomi - Is plural for majesty. The name suggests there is a mystery to the creator God which mankind cannot fully fathom. This one is by far my favorite!
Jesus cried out Eloi Eloi - Which means my God, my God.
Yahweh - I am
Yahweh Jereh - The Lord will provide.
Yahweh Nissi - The Lord is my banner.
Yahweh Mekaddesh - The Lord sanctifies.
Yahweh Shalome - The Lord is peace.
Yahweh Rohi - The Lord is my shepherd.
Yahweh Tsidkenu - The Lord is our righteousness.
Yahweh Shammah - The Lord is there.
Adonai - Lord
Abba - Father.
God has symbolic names as well.
Ancient of Days - Everlasting.
Rock - Strong and permanent
Refuge - Safe Haven
Fortress - Defense against the enemy
Shield - Protection
Sun - Source of light and life.
Refiner - Purifier.
I know there are others but these are the ones I have found so far. Isn't it amazing how God has so many names that show so many different sides of Him?
There are a several more passages that where suggested to research and I will do that tonight. I will let you know what I discover!
Nellie ;~)
Day 7
Today I researched some suggested scripture that helped me to reveal a few things about God. They are things we have all heard and some extent we all knew, however today they seem to mean something more, something deeper. This is what my scriptural journey revealed to me.
God is love. He is everlasting. He was here in the beginning and will be here in the end. God can do anything and everything. There is nothing he cannot do.
God knows my every thought, my every action and my every word. He has laid His hand upon me. There is no where I can go that He is not there.
God remains the same…he is constant. There is no one like God. He is perfect and just in all His ways. God is merciful and forgiving.
God is gracious and slow to anger and when He does get angry, He does not keep that anger forever.
God loved me enough to send his some to die for me and to save the world. Jesus prays for me to be with Him in heaven. God loves me even though I am unlovable at times and my life is filled with sin.
Nothing, no matter what I do can separate me from the love of God. Salvation is a gift of grace and cannot be earned. God wants me to rely on Him and come to Him with my every need.
One of my favorite sayings about myself is: "I am a complex and complicated individual. I am but a small grain of sand on a vast shore. I am beautifully random."
Today, I was shown just how small I really am and was really taught…who am I?
I have created no mountains. I have lit no stars. I cannot explain the mysteries of the universe. I control nothing from the rising of the sun to the setting of the moon. I truly am a small grain of sand on a vast shore. I can build a box but I did not create the wood. I can plant a garden but I did not create the soil…I cannot even control if it grows.
Who am I??? A small speck.
Nellie ;~)
I live in Sydney Australia and came across this book at a Christian book shop (Koorong). I just felt drawn to it. I am amazed at how much God is speaking to me through this book! A while ago I sensed God telling me to go and study humility, it was like he said it has nothing to do with having low self esteem and in fact gave me a tip that there was a real link between humility and the confidence I so desire as I often feel a lack of it, and it holds me back. I'm only on day three but already God is speaking so deeply into my heart.
I had a similar experience to the blogger from Australia. I was checking out at a Christian bookstore when the cover of Character Makeover caught my eye. I had an armful of sale items in hand but after reading the cover, I was compelled to purchase the book.
The thing that is hard, as the authors' mention, is that once you have revelation in an area - many times you are then tested in that area.
God is God and I am not. I went through a two-year custody battle 8 years ago. I felt really defeated at the end of the process. No one won and everyone lost. We got the same standard agreement everyone else gets and it cost me more than 10 thousand dollars which I didn't have. I lost a lot of faith in God through that process.
Well, my ex-husband just informed me he is taking me back to court again because he wants more custody hours. This is particularly challenging and painful because I was so beat up the first time.
However, I am confessing in faith (even though inside I may feel like mush) that God is God and I am not. He has a plan. He will deliver me. He will watch over His children. I don’t, can’t and won’t control the situation.
P.S. I am also confessing scripture because there is power in the Word of God.
Character Makeover Week One Action Steps Update…
Some of you will remember that I did a 40 day character makeover a few weeks back and I promised that I would not only continue to work on the weekly action steps, but I would also update you every so often on how I was doing.
If you recall, my action steps for week one were:
1. I will study God
2. I will hunt for God
3. I will stop trying to so hard to be perfect.
4. I will not boast
5. I will check my motives.
6. I will be an encourager.
7. I will be a helper.
As far as studying and hunting God, I have not done too hot. I actually got so consumed with all that was going on around me, I did not do any bible study at all. In fact, some of the postings to my site were written awhile back. However, I have been recently getting back into study. I have recently started reading the bible again and am taking the time to read all the study guides that go along with each chapter of the bible.
Trying not to be perfect is a struggle for me. I want myself and everything around me to be perfect. I did make a little progress last weekend. I went the entire weekend and did not make the bed. I know that sounds strange but I am very particular on my home. Not making the bed is a big deal.
As far as boasting….well…uh….what can I say when I do well I want to be patted on the back. Don’t we all? Sometimes if people don’t notice I feel compelled to point it out from time to time. A nasty habit I know.
I have found that when I want to do something, I check my motives more often. Not all the time mind you, but more often. If I am really doing it for selfish reasons, or because I want to have my ego stroked, a try to stay away.
I am doing pretty good at encouraging and helping. I have been staying on top of cards and emails, making sure to send them out on a regular basis. I started ‘Operation Sweeter Place to Work’. Once a month I bring in a treat for all my coworkers. I also have begun birthday celebrations. I find myself seeking for ways to help when people are in need.
Until next time…
Nellie
The humility chapter pointed out that it is important to be teachable and value people speaking into your life. Sometimes we may not even like the messenger that God sends but if it is truly from God, we should be open and not allow pride to interfere with the blessing God is sending. Blessings come in all sorts of different packaging.
Cathy
Of course, after just posting anonymously as a pre-req to the 101 Course, I realize that I posted anonymously. So, here I go again.
I'm the Todd who posted about living in China, being a Rockbridge Seminary student, and, now, a LPCC student.
Our Father is SO good!
Todd Blake
Being a newly divorced single mother, I have found myself struggling in situational poverty. I went from a middle class household, to living paycheck to pay check to support my family. A college education has always been important to me, and it has always been a goal that I have wanted to complete. But, I had chosen to put my goals on the back burner to support the goals of my children, and my ex-husband.
After recently being faced with this life altering event, I endured what felt like endless nights of tears, and questioning God ‘why is this has happening me? I’m a good person right? I know that I have made mistakes, but do I deserve this punishment?’ There were even moments of fear, just wondering how I was going to make it through. Simple things like walking to the mail box, or answering the phone became too over whelming for me, because I knew that on the inside of that mail box, or the other end of that phone there was a bill, that I couldn’t afford to pay. I felt broken. I felt that I had fallen in a hole so deep and so dark, that there was no way out. I could see the light, and I could even feel the warmth from the light, but I just felt so far away.
I had found myself at a cross roads in my life. I basically had two choices; I could either ‘Give Up’ or Get Up’. I am a single mother of a soon to be three year-boy who amazes me daily. I have also chosen to assume Legal Custody of my 10 year-old cousin, whom almost two years ago when he came to live with my ex-husband and I, was in 3rd grade, but functioning at a pre-k reading level. I have a mother whom is a recovering addict. She has been clean for over 10 years, and during her 10 years of sobriety she has managed to reclaim her life, return to school, and complete her education, and now has a degree in General Studies, with a minor in Psychology. After looking back on my life, although there have been road blocks and boulders set in my path, there have been many blessings as well. With this said giving up is no longer an option. Therefore, I chose to Get Up!
I choose to ‘Get Up’ for my son Jackson. I choose to ‘Get Up’ for my cousin Brandon whose mother has abandoned him. I choose to ‘Get Up’ because society thinks it’s impossible for me to do so. I choose to ‘Get Up’ because although this hole I am in is so deep, God is continuing to shine his light on me. I choose to ‘Get Up’ because if my mother can do it, then so can I. But most of all, I choose to ‘Get Up’, ‘Crawl Out’, and ‘Stand Tall’ not just for me, but for my God.
With all that I have been presented with, I feel that God has and is continuing to prepare me to teach and counsel others. I know with out any doubts that it is my responsibility to teach women, children, and families, that no matter how many road blocks, or the weight of the boulders; despite the depth or the darkness of your hole, there is always rest in the Lord (Matthew 11:28), and there is always a way to ‘Get Up’, ‘Crawl out’, and ‘Stand Tall’!
In His grace,
Valena G. McMillion
Proverbs 31:30
The issue/concept/virture of humility seems to be often at work under the surface for me. I know I need to be stepping aside to let the Lord work... I also know that if I don't present my business card, or explain what I possibly help a person with, they don't have that opportunity to ask for help. Sometimes I will have the distinct impression "I've stepped over the line" and am simply self-promoting. It is an interesting learning experience. The spotlight exercises in Character Makeover help bring some things to light we don't realize we are doing!
Argh! I hate it when I have to look at pride in my life! I tend to beat myself up anyway, always trying to "measure up" to some standard. Being the goody-goody I am, I obeyed and did the humility chapter first. Well, actually I had to. I'm leading a group through this book!
Bless the our co-authors, I did not feel like scum when it was over. Phew. But it wasn't over. The Holy Spirit did that sneaky little whispering in my ear throughout the week. "Did you really need to make sure you got credit for that idea?" And in the garden, "How about the next time your talk to your friend you ask her how SHE is doing?" No guilt, just gentle "suggestions."
Want a HUMBLE fun fact? The word originates, partially, from the Latin, HUMUS or "earth." Literally, “on the ground.” It's a perfect visual for me. How do you guys see yourself "on the ground" in relation to God? To others? Something to ponder!
Terri
I am facilitaing a Character Makeover small group book study with a group of women that I love. We are business owners, Bible study leaders, a seeker, a mom-to-be, a grandma, a newly married, etc. We are a group of women with many differences and many things in common but mostly what we are is a group of women with the desire to grow in the light of God's wisdom and love. We are excited to grow through this book together. Humility is a great launching point. I pray that God will reveal the places in our character that most need his influence. <><
I was challenged by the balanced view of humility offered in this book. I was particularly struck by the difference between humility and humiliation.
Our group took the test at the end of the humility chapter and it was funny to see that even though my lifestyle has changed so much in Chirst, I still struggle with low-self esteem. I know that I have a really hard time with accepting compliments and talking to other people for fear of rejection. I realize now that this has probably kept me from making a lot of close friends. The women in my group told me that they never would have guessed that I was someone who struggled with low self-esteem and I informed them that they wouldn't because I don't let many people get close to me and that I go home and don't really do things with other people. When you have been living that way for so long, I find it hard to change, although I know I need too. I just don't know where to start. I am praying that out of this group I can meet some good christian friends. I pray that God truly changes my life in the most awesome way and that I can get to a point where I feel better about myself and not scared to open up to or talk to people and see myself as someone wonderfully made.
I am writing this a couple of weeks after completing the Chapter on Humility. I just read other people's blog and was encouraged by what you shared. This is a first for me. I have never blogged. I usually have so many emails to answer a day, I dreaded trying another form a communication. I am currently recovering from surgery, so I have had a little more time to step out and try something new.
After reading the overview of the book, I decided that I probably needed to renovate every character trait, so I would start at the beginning and go all the way through. I surprised myself with the score on humility. First, the score was lower than I thought, secondly, the highest area was "Belittling Myself." I know I fall into the category of people pleaser, but never saw it brought out so plainly on paper.
I am really struggling personally with my becoming an older adult and thinking that I cannot please people like I used to. They automatically see me as the "older generation." A "has-been." No one has said that, but I often feel passed over, when I used to be always at the "Top of my Game." (Now that is pride!)
The two statements that I have underlined that describe me are on pg 32. "Women who overwork and let others take advantage of them." I always want to go the second mile, but in so doing, I feel like I am letting someone else down. That is very people-centered, instead of God-centered.
"Women who have a difficult time accepting help, because they don't feel worthy." I always feel like I am inconveniencing someone else's busy schedule if someone has to help me.
The answer in this book is "stop lying to yourself about your lack of value."
On pg 38, these are my statements in the journal,
"my reluctance in accepting help from others is the belief that they are too busy, don't REALLY care and I am letting them of the hook by refusing,"
"my reward for working hard is my titles and promotions"
"I have to be doing something for someone or I am of no use to them. Working long, hard hours, without taking a lunch break, most days, gives my life worth."
Well guess what, I am taking off personal time for me, (Feeling a little guilty) so I can hear what God is saying. "Be still and know that I am God." I am listening. I WILL hunt for God. In Him, I find my strength and worth.
The Lord gave me eyes to see this morning as I read day two of the Humility chapter. I have known for a while that I struggle with pride and false pride, but I have never really understood why. After reading Betty's testimony, I realized a piece of the puzzle. My biological father was verbally abusive throughout my childhood. I spent many years overachieving to try to please him and gain his love. I can remember thinking, "if I can just do this, he will love me." I spent the first half of my married life climbing the career ladder in an effort to seek recognition, and then struggled with depression when I decided to be a stay at home mom. I have known intellectually all my life that God is all I need, but I think I am finally starting to realize that HE IS ALL I NEED. One of my favorite verses right now is from Psalm 103, "for He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust." I thank God that He formed me and that He doesn't expect me to jump through all the hoops that I set up for myself! He loves me the way I am!
I have been struggling with humility for a long time. However up until I read the chapters on humility I just didn't know it. What opened my eyes to the clear truth was in day 3 where it mentions that poor self esteem is camouflaged with bragging, critcizing and being a perfectionist. God opened my eyes and said.. could that be you? It was. I am often critical of others, and now on reflection, I see that I am most critical of those people who are the most humble.
I have a long way to go to let go of that behavior but I thank God for letting me become aware of what I was doing. I have three staff that work for me. I love them all but yet I am overcritical with one of them. The one who lives and practices humility every day.
I pray that God will continue leading me down the path of humilty and to help me learn from those who set the example of humbleness.
I have to let go of everyting that I thought made me great so I can discover my true self. And that what I truly may be dealing with is a poor self esteem.
My husband and I are living in Senegal, West Africa doing community development work. My husband, Ryan made a comment the other day that really struck me and has kept me thinking. He said, "It seems like we have been stripped from everything and are broken, but as things are being stripped away, there is nothing there to replace it." This made me feel so sad. I identified with that. Without church services that we can understand totally and worship in, small groups to talk about life's journey - our spirituality and our walk with the Lord looks totally different than it did 2 years ago.
A short-term team member heard his comment and agreed - he had spent a year in Jordan. But, after some time, he said, It will be interesting to see what really was replacing it when you get back home that you didn't even realize. You guys are replacing it with something that you don't even realize. Now that really got me thinking. What has been filling all of the "stuff" that's been stripped away?
I just started Character Makeover study (soon to be joined by my best friend Anna!) and it already is meaning so much to me. In the study, I looked at all the hard and difficult things the Lord has brought me through in order to see His power revealed through me. How crazy is that!? I have to humble myself in brokenness, and through that weakness, His power is made perfect through me.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 - "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
As I wrote a list of all of the difficult things I've encountered it seemed like alot and it felt a bit depressing. However, I have lived such an easy life though, compared to most. I am so thankful for the blessed life God has allowed me to live for His glory. My paraphrase of this verse for my life is, "But Jesus Christ told me, 'I have enough grace for you, Lizz, all the strength and power I have is much more noticeable in your weakness.' I can be ok with having struggles so that I can be filled with Christ's power. In that power, I can be happy about having to quit college running, someone not liking me, living in Senegal - a place so far from many who I love, being sick often, and feeling insecure. When I am at my lowest, then I am strongest in Him."
After thinking through these things, I realize how much of a journey we are on with Christ. We will never "arrive" to perfection - but this journey brings us closer and closer to Him. As I look at different aspects of my life, I will seek to prune away the sinful things and replace them with the fruits of the Spirit.
I want to have the beauty of a life-long learner.
I have been in a spiritual accountability relationship for several years and we are starting Character Makeover.
The exercise from Psalm 103 was excellent and I expect to go back to it in the future. God's Word as our plumline offers here the relational realities that are full of truth, liberty and peace as we can see who we are in context to God. Great!
I think women struggle more with this than men. We need to be confident and come across self-assured but at the same time be a servant. Confident Humility is something I believe we need to continue to strive for.
Question in reading the chapter on Humility day 3. I have a question. How do you know if you are pushing your own agenda in life or following God's plan, what it is He wants me to do with this life?
I bought this book a year ago and finally started it last week. God's timing is impeccable! I dove straight into the humility chapter. WOW! This was a tough battle! To see God's reality vs my sugar coated version of my life is the ultimate wake up call to my personal selfishness. Don't loosed heart, this isn't the end... this discovery moves on to putting reality back together with God redeeming back and giving a better understanding of humility that is beautiful, full of love and grace and seeing God as my ultimate provider of all things. My job became receiving it and giving Him the glory! Finally! An understanding of humility that left me full, complete, free and not empty!
I always thought of myself as a person that put God first and thanked God, even in conversation, about various things in my life...so I never considered that I was full of pride, until I read this chapter. I can't believe all this time I was more prideful than I realized. I see it so clearly now. I've learned to recognized the traits both in myself and have noticed it in others (not in a judgmental way, but rather in observing it). I love this chapter completely. I particularly relate to Day 3, How God Redeems Brokenness. I also love how Katie & Shelly pointed out that you can't actually work on humility because then you'd be focusing on yourself, which is an entree to pride. So I realize how the more that I spend time concentrating on God and others helps me to grow closer to God. I've only just begun reading this book and already it is helping. Thank you and thank God for giving you the idea for this book. It is so helpful.
Argh! I had such a tough day at work today dealing with HR issues and ending with my son being sent home from nursery sick with the news that I can't take him back for 48 hours. The next two days were to be 'flagship' days for me at work-- Inducting a new staff member, teaching a new class and running one of the biggest swimming galas of the year. So now- I've had to turn everything over to others and *humbly* take my place at home in quarantine as mommy. I really didn't expect the lesson about humility to hit so hard so close to home! I've really struggled in the area of self-esteem and finding my identity in what I do and what I achieve and I'm finding it a real challenge to let that go, or to think differently. But I know battling through this chapter and all the next ones is the best thing, and I know its where God wants me now. So I'll keep on--but I do feel the pain of emotional excavation!
I have a lot of pride, I try and compose myself to be like others very often. Now that I see that it's the enemy, it's hard to end an addictive habit of living humbly and my own self confidence. Once I picked up this book, I got to know what humility was, and once I got a taste of it it was true, a feeling I haven't felt for a long time. It's hard for me to live by the truth and not brag and be prideful.
I was very surprised to find that my "negative self-talk" was a humility issue. That has been a first priority in my action steps - "I will not tear myself down." It was amazing how God just opened up a seemingly locked door, if you will, that was blocking me from moving forward into the things he was encouraging me to start. When I started reading this book I wasn't going to read it in order, but God encouraged me to do otherwise and I am so glad I did. For me to break the chains of old habits and comfort zones, I needed to start with the very thing I thought I had a handle on - Humility. I didn't have a complete understanding of humility and after reading this first chapter, God impressed upon me that I needed to follow each chapter as the book was laid out and build a new chain of understanding before he could allow me to move into the future he chose for me in this season of my life.
I am only on Day 2 of the Character Makeover, and God is showing me so many truths about myself and my life in such a short period! I didn't think I was a particularly prideful person, however after beginning the section on Humility, God is really opening my eyes and helping me to see areas in my life that need a major renovation. Thankyou God for using this book and the authors to help others. I am excited to see changes happening in my life over the coming months.
I decided recently that I needed to make some changes, as I saw a different side of me (that wasn't very good). I have a lot of big life changes this past year and for & for worse, I have changed and lost some of who I am. Growing up, I would wear many different masks (your prayer at the end of day 3 really hit home). After moving, I was able to be more of who I was meant to be. Now, I am facing those multiple masks and loosing who I am and becoming someone I don't want to be. Its been a rough couple of days in some aspects of my daily life and the book has helped me to delve deep and really be honest. I am a work in progress, hoping to grow and really truly show the real me.
My word of the month has been surrender. Character Makeover has helped me come to a place of humility. I can humbly come to God to surrender my life, marriage & family. I can rest in knowing we are in His hands. I learned that the sure path to humility is gaining the right perspective of who God is and who I am. Humility is saying "I need You God and I submit to You." Prayerlessness or going my own way are pride. They say "I don't need You God."
The humility Action Plan helped me, by developing a right view of God, through worship and going on a God hunt. He is at work around us! The challenge for me is getting my eyes off of me and keep them fixed on God.
Wow! This book has really challenged me. I've told others, "You have to be ready to get dirty with yourself in order to read this book!" And I'm so glad I am. After listening to a sermon series on "Idols" and "Spiritual Gifts" at our church, I was already beginning to self examine and ask God to reveal the things I needed to work on. I have written out many of the prayers Katie ends the chapters with in my prayer journal and have gone back over the lessons highlighting them and rewriting key things I need to work on. Thank you so much for articulating what was in my heart and helping to focus my self examination. I've worked through 4 character traits so far and already know I will be reading, and rereading this book for years to come!!
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